Posted by Kenneth Quarnberg on Mar 21, 2018
As Rotarians braved near hurricane force winds and driving rains, we made our way to the safety of the top floor of the tallest, window-covered building in all of Bakersfield for our weekly meeting.  Luckily, the blinds were all drawn; you know, what you can’t see can’t hurt you – or something like that.  There to greet us (and sell us “opportunity drawing” tickets) were none other than Dennis Scott and Teresa Ramos.  With a five-fingered handshake, a thirty-two tooth smile and a seven-for-five deal on tickets, no one made it through the gauntlet without some sort of shakedown.
Dale Bender gave the invocation, asking for the blessing of the Lord upon our souls and our tax returns.   After a short, awkward pause -waiting for Jason Williamson to lead us in the flag salute from the comfort of his easy chair at home - Mary Jo Pasek stepped right in, followed by Bill Black belting out the best rendition of “The Rotary Way” ever heard by human ears.  
Immediately following the song, President Denise requested we remain standing for our “Fit for Rotary” moment.  This week’s theme was “March for March” (I have no idea how she comes up with this clever stuff week after week).  As forty-eight Rotarians marched in unison around our tables – first one direction, then the other with knees lifted high (as commanded) - one could hear the chants of:  “This is not a cult - this is NOT a cult!”
Mike O’Doherty introduced out visiting Rotarian, Howdy Miller from West Rotary who was kind enough to inform us of West Rotary’s upcoming Cioppino Feed, this Saturday from 6pm to 6am.  Bethany McKanna, the secretary of the Bakersfield Rotaract, was also in attendance to announce their upcoming Bakersfield Night with the Condors fundraiser, which will be April 14th at 7pm.  All who are interested in coming are encouraged to contact Bethany.  
We had no regular visitors this week and I’m really starting to think it’s because of me.  We also had no club anniversaries or wedding anniversaries this week and Cheryl Scott spared us having to sing Happy Birthday by celebrating at home.
Our speaker this week was Roosevelt (Rosie) Scott of Triple Threat Solutions.  Rosie’s resume reads like a Who’s Who of the kind of guy you want on your side.  He served in the United States Marine Corp, reaching the coveted rank of Gunnery Sergeant.  He has trained either with or for LAPD SWAT, British SAS, the FBI, Israeli Forces and others.  Rosie is an NRA Certified Pistol Trainer, has 10 years experience with the BPD, has been a Kern County DA investigator, is a POST Rangemaster, a CCW trainer and he does training for families of Law Enforcement.  
Rosie gave us an eye-opening prelude to training he offers on several self-defense situations which most people try not to think about.  One of those topics covers an active shooter in the workplace.  Rosie presented some rather sobering statistics concerning active shooter incidents, such as the FBI’s criteria that there must be a minimum of 4 victims to even be classified as an active shooter incident.  Most often, these shooters will choose “soft targets," typically “gun free zones” where the chances of resistance are minimal.  Rosie stated that more often than not, an active shooter will commit suicide when they believe the police are on scene.  (Editor's note:  Rosie referred to these active shooters as "cowards."  I found that an interesting description.)
Part of Rosie’s expertise is helping businesses develop plans for active shooters.  Having such a plan in place can reduce an employer’s or owner’s liability along with presenting possible life-saving skills.  This plan will also establish prevention mechanisms.  Rosie can also help with mock training exercises.  Triple Threat Solutions has conducted several live-fire (with blanks) exercises at Rabobank Convention Center.  Rosie stated there is definitely a break from the old way of thinking where hiding under one’s desk was the usual protocol.  The new way of thinking is for the victims to escape, if possible.  If not, lives can be saved if the potential victims can work as a team to neutralize any threat.  
Rosie also teaches classes for those with concealed carry permits as well as individual or group handgun proficiency classes.  Rosie teaches that it is not always possible to identify bad guys.  Therefore, one should always trust one's instincts.
After that happy presentation, President Denise called for all Happy Spots.  Craig Holland seemed to be $10.00 happy that his brother has returned home from an assignment on the east coast – just ahead of the massive storms.  Jeff Haynes was happy his son was married last Saturday and the wedding planning is behind them.  President Denise Haynes leveled no fine against Jeff Haynes for said wedding.  Hmmm.  That seems a little odd.  Oh well.  Keep moving people.  There’s nothing to see here.  
Mary Jo Pasek announced that not only is Herb Albert still alive, he and his wife will be performing at the BC campus.  All proceeds will benefit the BC Drum Corp.  I guess I probably just think of Herb Albert as being well seasoned because of one particularly scandalous album cover, depicting a young woman caught up in a confectionary experiment gone horribly awry, which was owned by my mother when I was very young and impressionable.  Ever since my first glimpse of that mind searing image the words “would you like whipped cream with that?” have triggered an automatic response of “Yes, please!”  I imagine Mike O’Doherty could tell a similar tale.  I have to say, Herb could sure blow that horn though.  The news made me so excited, I failed to get the date of the show or the amount of Mary Jo’s fine.  I’m sure there was a fine.  There had to be a fine.  The name, Mary Jo Pasek, doesn’t end in Haynes
President Denise did take a moment to point out the fact that Marianna Buoni has not been happy all year, or at least she hasn’t shared it with us.  Being put on the spot, Marianna dug reeeeally deep and came up with “no DUI…yet.”  You go girl!  Way to set the bar high!  That’s something to which we can all aspire!
Our vocational moment was by some guy named Ron Nelms who claims he is a surveyor.  Ron pointed out this week is National Surveyor Week with an added mention that one would do well to hug a surveyor.  Ron pointed out that without the existence of the science of surveying, there would be no explorers, buildings, infrastructure, etc.  In other words, without surveyors, the world would look like Slab City, CA. (You may have to Google it in order for the joke to make sense.  Trust me, it’s real!)  Ron happily pointed out he was travelling to Sacramento on Thursday to receive a proclamation from our Senator, Jean Fuller.  Yay, Ron!  Ron did mention he prefers to do his surveying on the beach, with binoculars, but he is a professional and he will go wherever the job takes him.  
President Denise directed our attention to the results of the monthly club survey, which were on the tables.  She also mentioned, if you haven’t yet attended the all-club luncheon, you are too late.  It received rave reviews.
Also on the tables were the Save the Dates reminders which all are encouraged to take.  On April 11th we have an off-site meeting at Foothill High School which Breann Goodman states is not to be missed.  We have a full presentation scheduled at the school.  We also have a Memorial Grove cleanup scheduled for April 28 as well as a multi-club food packaging project at Jim Burke Ford on May 5th.  Our Thousand Flags event is scheduled for the Park at Riverwalk on May 26-28.
Next week’s program will be Assemblyman Vince Fong.  Vince, a former BBRC member, will be presenting us with a legislative update straight from the insane asylum in Sacramento.  Be sure to bring duct tape (you’re going to want to wrap your head to keep it from exploding).
Before ringing the bell and signing off, President Denise presented the proceeds of the 50/50 drawing (all fifty bucks) to John Guerard, while Teresa Ramos was awarded 100 Paul Harris points.  Way to go, lucky winners!
President Denise rang the bell and we all shuffled out to start our day. As I wandered aimlessly toward my car, for some reason I found myself wondering what Jimmy Buffett was up to.
This historical document is proudly submitted by Ken Quarnberg, with a degree of accuracy approaching 64% - guaranteed!  (Editor's note #2:  99% accuracy!  And keep Michele McClure in your prayers.  She's the club "photographer" and has had some recent health issues.  That's why the last 2 bulletins had no pictures.)